Since you asked.......

Everywhere we go we are asked the same questions about our large family. So one year as a Christmas letter I decided to answer the top ten. Ya know, like "Are they all yours?".... "Are you Catholic?"....  "What kind of car do you drive?" But the number one question we get asked hands down is "How do you do it?"

The answer to that for us is simple. God.  However, when I expressed that answer to a woman at the library the other day, she didn't stop there like most. She went further. "How exactly does God come into play?" she asked maybe a little, doubtful, but genuine.
"Well," I answered,  "He gives us peace when it's crazy, patience, when we have had enough, and wisdom, when we don't know what to do." She seemed slightly, like, "ok, maybe." and started to walk away, but not before I slipped her a little folded up piece of paper.

When I was little, my mom used to hand out Bible tracts. She gave them to waitresses and bag boys with a nice tip. She gave them to the cashier to read on her break. Just about anyone, was someone, with whom my mom wanted to share Jesus. You see,  my mom was that person once. She was seeking. And one day, a woman, who also wanted to share Jesus, picked my mom's name out of the phone book and offered her a free hair cut. My mom has never been one to turn down a free anything so she went, and got her free hair cut. but also got freedom from sin. My mom was seeking. And just like that, because someone else was willing to share, she found Peace.

A few months after Christmas I got the idea to turn our Christmas letter into a tract. I was so excited. I ran it by my editor, (Paul) and my campus pastor and got the thumbs up. Now, when people ask us these questions, instead of worrying about the negative way they sometimes refer to my blessings, it has become fun way for us to turn the tables. Instead of bracing for the questions, or the stares, or even just the curious onlooker, we are now looking for them!! Who will ask one of the questions! We fold them up like a little card and on the front it says "Since you asked....."

The reason this is so exciting for me is that if you hand someone a regular tract, they might read it, but they might not. However, in our case, if these people are already curious enough to ask a stranger in the middle of the grocery store questions about her personal life, then they are going to be curious enough (read nosy) to read the whole darn thing! Right down to all the good stuff about Jesus!

So why am I sharing this with you? Well, despite the dangerously declining birthrate in America (topic for another blog!) I have SO MANY FRIENDS with big (3 or more kids ) families. Truly, if you have 3 kids, you have been asked most of these questions! And a lot of these same friends also love sharing about Jesus. So I wanted to make this available to you, big family people out there, so that you could adapt it, make it your own, and also start sharing with people the truth of how we do it!! Since they asked! Seriously, think about how many times a week you get asked these question and all those opportunities to share the gospel? Let's do it!  (A google document is at the bottom. Email me if it doesn't work or if you have a more efficient way of sharing. I am no techie, that is for sure!)

p.s. There are so many ways to adapt this. Even as Christians we can get tired of answering the same questions about  a certain part of our lives.  Consider how you can instead use that to share what makes you who you are in Christ, even if it is not in writing like this.

1 Peter 3:15

¹⁵ But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear; 

****For best results click  on the link below, then click on File > Download As > Word doc, or whatever format you choose.****

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Pt5FelSu7nwaGGtM_2g7Hvw7oLA_q7B5jFOxN5kXP2o/edit?usp=sharing

Eggplant Parmigian and sweet memories.

When I first met the love of my life, like a giddy school girl I wrote this list of all the things we had in common. One of the items on my list was that we both had a special "Great Aunt" with whom we had a deep bond and by whom we had been thoroughly spoiled! Mine was Aunt Adele, my maternal grandmother's sister. His was Aunt Rainey, his maternal grandfather's sister. During my high school years, when Aunt Adele would spend her snow bird days in sunny South Florida, she would regularly take my parents, sister and I out for dinner. And if it was an Italian restaurant, she would order Eggplant Parmigian.  Fast forward past dating, a wedding day,and a toddler and a baby, and Paul's dear Aunt Rainey had established a similar tradition with us. And whenever we would venture out to an Italian Restaurant, she also would always order Eggplant Parmigian. And now, that I am old, and gray (not entirely) I also have developed a love for Eggplant Parmigian. But my favorite part of making it is always remembering these two amazing ladies, who touched and changed our lives forever.

So here is the recipe, for those who want to give it a try!

EGGPLANT PARMIGIANA

 2 Eggplants

A lot of breadcrumbs (Costco's are great!)

4 eggs

some milk

a lot of oil (vegetable, canola or coconut- olive oil makes it too mushy)

 lots of sauce

mozzarella

First you need a 6 year old who LOVES to bread!(really, breading is not my favorite, and the kids love it!! Let go of perfectionism, and let them have at it!!)

Preheat oven to 350

Peel and slice up the Eggplant.

Scramble the eggs and mix with a little milk.

Find a child who is eager, and step away. You can clean up the mess in one easy swoop later!!

 

Pay no attention to the messy kitchen in the background. I *do not* clean as I go to avoid eating at midnight, or having to start cooking dinner during lunch. This makes my mom crazy. Sorry mom.

Heat up the oil on medium high, test the heat with some bread crumbs to make sure they sizzle. Brown on both sides, then place on paper towels on a plate to soak up some oil. I just layer paper towels,eggplant, paper towels, eggplant until they are all cooked and I have the leaning tower of eggplant!

Next find a 9x13 pan and add your favorite sauce  as your first "layer."

(My sauce recipe is at the bottom)

Then add some delicious eggplant. (seriously, the hardest part is not eating them before dish is assembled)

Next ladle on some sauce and sprinkle some cheese

Then another eggplant layer. Wash, rinse, repeat, until you have used all the eggplant or run out of room in your dish! Then bake for about 30 minutes or until it's all bubbly and browned to your liking.

Somehow in the craziness, I did not get a final picture! So maybe the next time I make it I will add one on, assuming I can figure that out! Sounds complicated! But I could not delay as I hate to deprive the world of this deliciousness one more day! So here ya go! Also, you can alter this in several ways. Some people prefer to bake the eggplant instead of frying. I prefer to Google things like "The health benefits of frying" or use coconut oil, so I can feel good about myself. :)

Oh and this is my sauce:
SUPER EASY SAUCE :
Saute 4 cloves of minced garlic in olive oil (or coconut) till light golden brown. Add 3 or 4 large cans of crushed tomatoes. Then add one tablespoon of : sugar and basil and teaspoon of salt. Add more or less of any seasonings to taste. Fresh basil is even better! And we use Kosher salt.

SUPER EASIER SAUCE:
In a pinch you can substitute garlic powder for sauteed garlic. Like when you want to make tortilla pizzas really bad at 10 o'clock at night??? Open the can, dump in the seasonings, and stir! Your welcome!

Finding true value at Publix

We finished checking out at Publix the other day, me and my traveling party, and an older man decided to give me all his best one liners, and I have heard them all. First he did the standard count with the face of disbelief...."One, two, THREE, FOUR, FIVE???" Then the predictable "ARE THEY ALL YOURS?" with the bewildered head shake. But he ended with a snide sounding (to me) "Well, that must be expensive." And for some reason that one bothered me. Not a lot of comments bother me. I know that most people are just curious, and have to say *something*. We are an anomaly, and I get it. I welcome it. I am proud of my family and grateful beyond words. But this one got under my skin. Maybe I was just tired, no, actually I am always tired. Maybe it's hormonal. But maybe... just maybe it was because I know what they are worth. I mean, for Pete's sake, did he say that to the woman in front of him, with $50,000 of plastic surgery? Or the woman behind him, with a bazillion dollar purse?? So immediately there I was, walking out the door, annoyed at myself for not thinking quicker on my feet with a smart response. So I pushed that basket, covered in children, out to the parking lot, trying to think of "comebacks" for the next time...I hate being unprepared ;) I came up with this one......."It is expensive, but we are really rich, so its fine" (fyi, this is untrue, as if you needed that disclaimer) But no, I hate to be that way. If I really am blessed beyond measure, then I am the one that should be extending grace to those that are frankly just clueless. And that's when it happened..I got it!! I had the perfect retort, which pretty much insured no one would ever say it to me again! But ….as God would have it, just after I had the last child seat-belted into our vehicle, who should be strolling by us in the parking lot, but that man!!! So I sweetly got his attention and smiling from ear to ear I said "They are not 'expensive', they are *valuable* and not only that, but they produce a much greater return then what most people invest in." Tadaaaa!!! Nice huh?? But yeah, this guy totally wasn't even listening to me, ha! I think he was still counting! He looked right passed me and my sage-like comment, into the car. “They are SO CUTE!” he said and we struck up a friendly conversation. I have to admit, I was a little disappointed that my brilliant one liner, I was so proud of, pretty much hit the pavement flat. And it wasn't till today that I realized that the reminder..... of their worth....and how important our investment is....that reminder was for me.

8For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. 9Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. 10So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith. Galatians 6:8-10

A Tsunami of Evidence- Voluntary Evacuation. Will you go?

I am currently documentary obsessed. Once the kids are in bed, I flip through the Netflix listings and think “No Way!? I can learn about that?” And some are actually not that interesting, but then there are those. Those that leave you sitting there, with your mouth dropped open, in total disbelief that this moment was captured on film, and you had never heard of it before! How is it that millions of people have seen that one video with the cat, or the other one with the laughing dog, but yet, I had never heard of this moment, this unbelievable moment. I have had a few of those lately. I used to be afraid to watch them. You know the ones. Like if I watched a movie with conjoined twins, then it could happen to me, well, not me exactly, but you know what I mean. However, since I am going through this unusually long period of being “not pregnant” I thought it was safe. I have also watched so many incredible docs on autism. One in particular where this man types out, since he is non verbal, that he is trapped, trapped in this body that will not obey him. I never knew that. I can't imagine. Me who cannot stop talking or thinking and occasionally doing both at the same time. To be stuck inside my own body.

Then, there are the twins. I have seen several of these and each one touched me in such a different way. The last one, two girls, joined at the head, separated, finally, after years of painstaking surgeries, infections and set backs. Two year old Trishna spoke almost immediately after waking up from the 36 hour surgery, WHAT?? I know. Talking!You have to watch this one. but Krishna, her sister, well it was going on 3 days now, and almost no movement. Still sleeping. Her caretaker, Moira, stood by her bed, stroking her head, kissing her face, begging Krishna through her own flowing tears to wake up, and then , the little girl's eyes started to flutter, and I couldn't take it. I couldn't believe it. Here I was, on the other side of the world, getting to see her wake up, and blow raspberries at her “mother” like she always did. I saw this. I couldn't believe it was real. Technology. It's amazing.

Then last night. You tube. I don't even know how I found it, but I thought it was a 10 minute video of how a Tsunami wave forms. However, I quickly realized that the 10 minute video was only the first part of a 90 minute film on the Tsunami of 2004 when 250,000 people were never seen alive again. If that number doesn't take your breath away I don't know what will. What started for me as an interest in the make up of the actual wave, turned into me sobbing on the couch with Paul, wondering how I was going to sleep tonight. Those images. Those families. The children. The unbearable pain. The fragility of life.

Then I remembered my eye doctor. Dr. Ian Field. Cutest little man ever. So quirky, kind of retired, but still working a few days a week because he wants to. We go back over 20 years! We are practically family. He is normally all business, but when I saw him earlier in the day, I had to know, it kind of came up, what does he believe about God? Well, said this brilliant eye doctor of a man, “I think that God wants us to just be nice to each other, respect each other, do good things.......” and on and on. And then, what does he think happens after death? “Well, I hope that......” And I have heard it so many times, but each time it shocks me to.my.core. These words. “I think” “I hope”

Here is this man, with walls covered in degrees. Hours, weeks, years of studying all things eyes, which is his job. His livelihood. His service. But when it comes to God he hasn't studied at all. He told me that. And when it comes to what happens after he dies, which he “hopes” is very far away, he hasn't really looked into it.

How can this be? People are combing the internet for recipes, studying scores for fantasy football, reading every article possible on vaccines. And the one thing, that is the main thing, well, that, we will just have to hope for, or go by what Great Aunt Trudy said. Or take the Scarlett O'hara approach and just think about it tomorrow.

One of the video clips from the Tsunami you hear Thai women talking, subtitles on the screen, the camera focused on the beach, the sand that just moments ago was covered in water. They know what is happening. They know the signs. The tide that rushed out is coming back soon with a vengeance. The tourists don't know this. They are all just wandering around. Shouldn't they go warn them, they ask each other. One German woman is overheard in another clip saying to her husband “Do you think this strange tide is related to the earthquake?” His answer? “No, definitely no”

I can't take it. It's too much. Please. I think. RUN!! Why don't they know? Paul knows. He told me years ago, if the water ever goes out like that to run for my life, find higher ground. Shouldn't everyone be told this? And then it's too late. I literally thought there should be mandatory lessons for beach goers. If you are going to be near something as powerful and potentially dangerous, shouldn't you study up on it first? But a Tsunami. Who ever had to think about that before? It's so far removed. There are many more important things to think or worry about. I understand that. It was so unthinkable.

But life. And more specifically death. It is not far removed. It happens every day. Maybe not your loved one, but maybe so. Maybe a friend. And it's rarely expected. And then my doctor. How could he just hope? Hope in what?

I am not a scholar. But I have studied. Hours and hours, and weeks and years and decades. And I have hope also, but my hope is founded in much of what I have come to know to be true.

As my pastor says oh so often, the statistics are clear. Ten out of ten people will die. And then what? Study to see the verifiable veracity of the Old Testament, the dead sea scrolls. Study how this Old Testament consistently points to who the Messiah would be and how Jesus fulfilled these prophecies like no one else could ever have done. Study how He, the Messiah, claimed to be the one way to the Father, ONE Way. He said it. It's all there. Waiting. Study to see how it's possible that one man's death and resurrection causes the whole world to stop and take notice once a year.

And when you see those that have studied acting a little too “fanatical” in trying to tell others what they have studied, remember those Thai woman on the balcony yelling “RUN!!!” They knew the signs, they knew what was coming, and they knew something had to be done. And church, don't just stand there asking each other “Should we tell them?” You know better. Tell someone. Today.

I Timothy 4: 4 I charge you therefore before God and the Lord Jesus Christ, who will judge the living and the dead at^[a] His appearing and His kingdom: ² Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching. ³ For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; ⁴ and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables. ⁵ But you be watchful in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.

Are you ready for a fight?

  So much sadness in this world is brought on simply because we are not fighting.

I heard this verse at a Bible study the other night and I wanted to jump up and scream YES!!! AMEN!!! PREACH IT!!  but it wasn't that type of study. I might have been hauled out of the room. Here is the verse:

Nehemiah 4:14

After I looked things over, I stood up and said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, "DON'T be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is GREAT and AWESOME and FIGHT for your FAMILIES, your SONS and your DAUGHTERS, your WIVES and your HOMES."

Think for a second about the things for which we fight. 

We fight through hoards of people on Black Friday for a deal. 

We fight through lines at Disney World to put temporary smiles on our children's faces. 

We fight through a work day to earn money to get stuff. 

We fight with customer service people because our computer/phone/car needs to be fixed now. 

We fight with loved ones to get our way. 

We fight.

But sometimes, we forget what it is for which we should really be fighting until it is too late and we have lost everything that matters most without even realizing we were at war.

DISCLAIMER:

Some things make me feel old, like....well...people younger than me. But the reality is I am young. Very young. And my children are still little. So one might think it is easy for me to say the things I am going to say while I don't yet have a teenager under my roof or a wayward son whom I raised to make better choices than he is making. Please know that I know this. But.... God's word is true, no matter the age of the person proclaiming it. I mean, Jeremiah, was like 20. And we Christians sure love us some Jeremiah 29:11!

So here goes.

 It seems to me that very few people are fighting for their families anymore. And from what I have seen,there is one major, glaring reason why.....

They don't know they are supposed to be fighting!

Naive newlyweds promise things that simply won't happen spontaneously.

Misguided parents expect unspeakable joy without hair pulling hard times.

And even adult children (hand raised) expect parental approval with no judgement.

But none of these things are going to just..... happen. None.

A good marriage is hard work, and quite often one person works harder than the other.

Raising children is not for the faint at heart. Those kids are miniature copies of us, for better or worse, and often magnify the very things about ourselves with which we struggle.

So what is the solution? Well, this is not a self help book, but I do have 2 suggestions.

1. Don't expect easy. Expectations can be our biggest enemy.

2. FIGHT!!! Starting now. The battle rages daily. Seen and unseen. If you wait for an apparent attack to start fighting, you have an uphill battle on your hands.

Ok, fine, I'll fight, you concede,  But how?

While there are many great books on their on raising a godly family. The most important step is also the most ignored and underrated.

Prayer.

Example: My mother.

Some of you know her, and just nodded your head and thought, "yup. enough said." But for those that don't have the pleasure of her acquaintance, allow me to explain.

I hated going to bed as a child, and yes, I still do.

Nearly every night, at the regular time I would stumble out of my room, look down into the living room and see my mother, in her lavender robe ( satin in the summer, fleece in the winter) knitting and praying. This is what she does. Pray and knit. She has given out more "prayer blankets" to new babies than I could begin to count.

If they updated the Bible with pictures, hers would be next to James 5:18, "The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man (woman) availeth much"

That woman has moved mountains. I have stories. I have seen it with my own eyes. She has always known there was a war raging. Always.

Pray with your husband, or trusted friends, or family. Pray by yourself. Just pray.

The full battle plan is found in Ephesians 6. Read it. I know, you have read it before, read it again. Print it out. Stick it on your fridge. Memorize it. Live it!! Remember the Lord, who is GREAT and AWESOME and FIGHT for your FAMILIES!



¹⁰Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. ¹¹Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. ¹²For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age,against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. ¹³Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
¹⁴Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, ¹⁵and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; ¹⁶above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. ¹⁷And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; ¹⁸praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints—

No offense but......

Love takes no offense.......

Wow, isn't that the opposite of what actually happens? Love and offense seem to go hand and hand.  I mean no one can offend me like the people that I love the most. . Any passing comment has a history behind it.  Any small gesture can feel like a pointed criticism. Any thoughtless act seems like a premeditated act of terror. Sad but true. 

Love takes no offense.

Yet offenses happen all the time.  What is our reaction if someone were to bad mouth a loved one,  spouse, or family member? The gloves would come off and we would fight to defend them....but.... Those same gloves can be used to hurt the person we would fight to the death defending. Why?

The devil is like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

My friend's mom is a renown photographer and recently told me of her trip to Africa. They were hidden from sight when all of a sudden there was absolutely no movement across the plain. No sounds. Nothing. And she knew a lion was in their midst. No sooner had she uttered that thought then a lion burst onto the scene chasing a herd of zebras. Those poor zebras, she lamented. They can never let their guard down.  No, I thought, those smart zebras. Smarter than the average...Christian. 

Yes, we have a very real adversary, with very old tricks. Yet they are so effective because unlike those zebras, we forget. We relax. We let our guard down and think life is just happening to us.  

This past week Paul and I got into one of the biggest.....ahem...disagreements in years, and the frustration in the room was palpable. Over what? What could cause such marital discord? Dishes. Of course. And 11 years of "life" piggybacking onto one offhanded comment. Why this week? I wondered. And then I saw an email that Paul was scheduled to teach a class on Biblical servant hood. Oh yeah, and we had a meeting on Friday to pray with other couples in preparing for the upcoming marriage retreat with our church. Of course. I have heard teacher after teacher in sermons confirm that whatever they are about to teach on is almost guaranteed to be tested. Yet where was my readiness? I took offense. Instead of going on the offense spiritually against the real enemy. (read: not my husband)

Why does the devil want to divide us? Maybe it has something to do with Jesus prayer in John 17

20 “I do not pray for these alone, but also for those who will believe in Me through their word; 21 that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me.

This is so powerful.....Our unity proclaims Christ's Deity....

The devil is always out to prove God's word is invalid and outdated. We need to remember that. Daily. And cling even more to His Word. Read it. Meditate on it. Talk about it.  There is no greater strategy.

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.

Love takes no offense

What is the point?

We live in a such an outcome driven society, our schooling, our work, our entire lives center around the question, what is the point? The point of learning anything in school, sadly, has become to get a grade on a test. Few people really know why they are learning anything anymore other than to achieve a certain score or degree. This has not always been the case. For instance, I cannot for the life of me imagine a mathematics student taught by the brilliant Isaac Newton at Cambridge University, so many years ago asking the question “When am I going to use this?” Can you? No, how absurd. So if you are one of the myriads of people who have asked that question, about Math, let me answer that question once and for all. Are you ready? If you were studying math, than at that moment you were using it. And for that moment alone, it was worth the effort. Yes. The process of studying math is actually beneficial to your brain. It needs exercise. So the actual study of math is a benefit and will produce future benefit simply by working through each and every problem or theorem. Can you imagine someone working out in the gym, and looking at their trainer and saying, “But when am I going to use these push ups?”

All of us are struggling with something. And when that struggle finally ends, there will be another one waiting. What is the point? Why can't it just be easy? Few people don't struggle financially. Because the more money you have, the bigger your toys get. And if you don't struggle with where to get the money, you can often struggle with where to PUT the money. Some are struggling with marriage. Some are struggling with singleness. Some are struggling too much work or too little work. But whatever the struggle is there will likely be a moment that it seems unbearable. Too much. I felt that today. And I heard these words in my spirit “For our light and momentary troubles....” Light and Momentary. I know this. I know this.

 Light. Seriously, the weight of my troubles do not even compare with those throughout history. And no matter how heavy ones troubles are, they are light in comparison to the burden Christ bore for us. For us. 

Momentary. Can someone please remind all of Christianity they we believe in eternity, with Jesus, and that this life is just a breath, a vapor? Because I think we have all forgotten, because life seems so hard and so long, until it doesn't. And you look back and can't believe that you are really the same age your mother was when she told you she couldn't believe she was that age. Light and momentary. Light and Momentary troubles. So I looked up the verse and read the whole thing.

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 2 Corinthians 4:17

Achieving. Troubles are achieving. It's sea turtle season around here and there are signs all over the beach to remind us. When that sea turtle hatches, wouldn't it be better if we all just gathered round and picked that turtle up? Poor sweet tired turtles. Wouldn't it be better if we picked them up and placed them in the ocean? The journey to the ocean is long and exhausting. What is the point? If the point is just to get to the ocean, then I will just pick him up and put him in the ocean. But we know there is more to this turtles life then just getting to the ocean. He needs to struggle, because without the struggle, there will be no life in the ocean. To fully enjoy the ocean and all its grandeur, this turtle has to build the muscles in that sand to survive and thrive in the ocean.

Quite often we don't see “reasons” for our struggles, but this one thing we can know. They are light and momentary, and they are achieving.

Romans 5:3-5 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.