In honor of Left handers day I thought I would try to educate 90% of the world on what it's like for a minority like me. If you're a righty, I don't expect you to understand. But if you are a lefty, I know you will be nodding your head, and reliving tragic childhood memories with me. Seriously people. My grandfather had his hands smacked with a ruler for using his left hand. But because of it, I think his genes doubled down and produced a ton of lefties, including both of his children, and all three of his grandchildren! My poor right handed mother. The craftiest woman known to man had to teach two lefty daughters how to knit, crochet, and needlepoint backwards! One hundred percent of her children were lefty! Can you imagine? The social implications? In our house it was the opposite of the rest of the world. In our house 75% of the population was lefty! For my sister and I, it was a utopia of sorts. But I guess my mom could have used this this:
Yeah, there is a whole book dedicated to helping parents raise lefty children in this right handed world. So here ya go. I know that only 10% of my readers will be interested in this list, if that! But for once, there is something designed just for us, and not the other way around. So I dare you, my fellow lefty, share with pride! Let's stand in solidarity! Go lefties!!!
- Erasable pens.Yes they are in our past, thank God, but what about my memory? That is permanent, and so are the ink stains on my hand.
- Teachers lamenting that my handwriting skills are doomed.
- 3 ring binders- These are like some kind of medieval torture device. Could you write neatly with your arm stuck in between 2 giant metal hoops?
- Spiral bound notebooks- ouch
- Desks- Where does my elbow go?
- Scissors- I always had to fight that other lefty for the rusty pair of left scissors. Or share. That works good.
- Realizing your belt buckle is upside down.
- Dealing with traders- people who write with their left and play sports with their right.
- Feeling used- "Oh you're a lefty? You can hit to right field, right??"
- Never being associated with a correct answer. “You're....... not right” Who wants to be “left” out?
- Always being associated with liberals. “Those lefties”
- Lame jokes to help us cope. “At least I am in my right mind”
- Nobody wants to sit next to you at meals.
- Spending 90% of your life using doors, cup holders in cars, computer mouses, knives, pens, pencils, belts, pant zippers, can openers, playing cards, etc. that have been specifically designed to NOT work for you.
- Googling " famous lefties" and realizing Justin Bieber is a lefty.
(because everyone knows that the best way to invoke sympathy is to link yourself with Justin Bieber)