Strength for the Season- Psalm 18

Psalm 18 (click to read)

I will love You, O Lord,

The first time I read this verse I missed one simple word that changes everything.

Will.

I will love you.

That's different.

Just this morning my sweet littlest child told me he loved me. In fact, he loved me super duper much. And my heart melted. Like it does every time.

I am not sure, however, that I would have had the same reaction if he would have said “Mommy, I will love you.”

You will? Like, when?

This whole passage is future. You will do this, and I will do this.

And that is so good. You may not feel it now. But take hope. God is going to deliver you, and you will love him.

my strength.
2 The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer;
My God, my strength, in whom I will trust;

We all need supernatural strength. All of us. For different reasons. But none of us can do it on our own. If you think you are doing fine on your own, I guarantee you the people around you might beg to disagree. But this is the good news. He is our rock. Our strength. In whom I will trust. 

My God, my strength, when I blow it again.

My God, my strength, when my will is weak. 

My God, my strength, when the answer isn't clear.

My God, my strength, when my doubts are overwhelming.

My God, my strength, in WHOM I WILL TRUST!

My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
3 I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised;
So shall I be saved from my enemies.

Prayer.

The action is simple, but the result is profound.

I will be saved from my enemies.

We all have enemies. Can you think of any?

No, not your boss. Not your ex. Not your (fill in the blank.) Don't be confused. Our battle is not against flesh and blood. Sometimes we can feel like people are against us. But the Bible tells us in Ephesians 6 that our battle is not against flesh and blood. This is the most exciting news. If we can remember that, we are so home free. The devil's best offense is to set us against each other.  You see, we cannot change people. We try. We manipulate. We punish. We conspire to get people to change their offensive ways but all to no avail. Here is the good news though. Despite what you may have been told, you CAN change people. Namely, but not limited to, yourself. Prayer changes everything. And everyone. Can you change someone by nagging? Not likely. With passive aggressive behavior? Doubtful. On your knees with humbled prayers ? Oh yes! But be forewarned, if you truly spend time on your knees with a humbled heart, the person that will be changed the most is you!

So shall I be saved from my enemies? Yes, because oftentimes, our greatest enemy is our own self.

 

Ok, now read the next part slowly, and drink it in because it is so good. And it is all for YOU!!

For You will light my lamp;
The Lord my God will enlighten my darkness.
29 For by You I can run against a troop,
By my God I can leap over a wall.
30 As for God, His way is perfect;
The word of the Lord is proven;
He is a shield to all who trust in Him.
31 For who is God, except the Lord?
And who is a rock, except our God?
32 It is God who arms me with strength,
And makes my way perfect.
33 He makes my feet like the feet of deer,
And sets me on my high places.
34 He teaches my hands to make war,
So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
35 You have also given me the shield of Your salvation;
Your right hand has held me up,
Your gentleness has made me great.
36 You enlarged my path under me,
So my feet did not slip.

The Lord lives!
Blessed be my Rock!
Let the God of my salvation be exalted.

That portion needs no commentary, but it probably needs to be read again. Slowly.
FOR BY YOU, I can leap over a wall!!

THE WORD OF GOD IS PROVEN!!

HE IS A SHIELD TO ALL WHO TRUST HIM!

IT IS GOD WHO ARMS ME WITH STRENGTH!

Alright that's it. This one is going on the wall. I just love it!! Who is God, except the Lord? Not me, that is for sure! His gentleness has made me great! Let Him enlighten your darkness!

This time, this season, although it brings great joy, for some, it actually brings great pain. My prayers are with you. My heart is holding you up. I bear these burdens with you and bring you before my God. I pray that you would feel His support, that you would feel His right hand holding you up, and that your feet would not slip. This is a great time of year to meditate on a verse that can hold you up and this passage is full of great ones. Choose one, write it down, hang it up and hold on to it.

The Word of God is proven!!  

And tell someone! Allow them to bear your burdens, share in your story, and be Jesus' arms around you.
What verse do are you needing to meditate on? Tell us in the comments :)
My verse,hands down, is "My God My Strength."  Because I blow it a lot. Like even moments after typing "Publish" on this blog. And I need to know that it is His strength, not mine. And He is proven! Amen!!

All I want for Christmas is a grateful child.

We are about to launch into that season where parents and grandparents (that's right, I'm going there) are about to spend copious amounts of money in hopes of making children happy. "Slow down," we plead as they rip through present after present with barely a moment to notice that gift purchased with blood, debt, and tears. Or worse, if they stop to enjoy one present, they are encouraged to "Keep going" and "play with that later, we have a lot of presents to get through!" And then, after the ripped up Christmas/Hanukkah paper has settled, we imagine we will see and experience this elusive emotion evoked from said little ones.

Gratefulness.

Yet more often than not, moments, days, or weeks after this grand display of affection, we find ourselves saying the same thing.

"You should be grateful!"

Similarly, this same fruitless attempt at producing gratefulness is utilized at popular theme parks. Thousands of dollars are shelled out for a week of extreme delight, yet this sacrifice is quite often met with temper tantrums, melt downs, and requests for more! A visit to see Mickey isn't enough. We want a special Mickey ice cream too. A picture with Elsa isn't enough. Next comes the request for the Elsa doll. All is given in pursuit of the sought after grateful child. Yet no matter how much is doled out, what do we find ourselves saying?

"You should be grateful!"

Here's the reality. We have it all wrong.

Things of this world, even something you always wanted, will not satisfy.

You may feel thankful, in that moment, yes. But it doesn't last. I have attended many churches that told us that healing and prosperity would lead people to Christ. If I was healed, people would see that, marvel, and be saved. While this absolutely can happen, it is actually not the norm. Take this example from the Bible in Luke 17. Against all odds, these 10 lepers received the one thing they all craved with every fiber of their being. Healing. All ten! Healed. However, what was the result?

15 Then ONE of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice; 16 and he fell on his face at Jesus' feet, giving him thanks. Now he was a Samaritan. 17 Then Jesus answered, “Were not TEN cleansed? Where are the NINE? 18 Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?”

Getting doesn't garner gratefulness.

Like almost never.

True heartfelt gratefulness decidedly comes from want, not plenty.

This concept clearly resonated with me a few years ago while listening to Pastor Doug Sauder in a parenting class. "If you want to make someone grateful for hot water, take them on a missions trip where they will get one cold shower for the whole week. When they get home they will feel more grateful for that hot water than ever before."

Prosperity without perspective can never produce gratefulness.

I do not think that I am unique in my desire to make my children happy. I want them to open their presents and discover that present they were dreaming about. I want them to have that moment of sheer bliss when their dreams are fulfilled but at what cost? Because more than wanting them to be happy, I want them to be grateful. I want them to find joy rather than pursue happiness. Godliness with contentment is great gain. This is what I want for my children. This is what I want for me. I want to be content. I want to be grateful. I need to remember that I am indebted. I am indentured servant. I deserve nothing but have been given everything.

However it is uncommonly easy to forget these goals and trade them in for a momentary feeling. Case and point: I sat there watching my 4 year old son launching hot wheels into the air on a loop-da-loop contraption yelling "AWESOME!" and thought...."I need that. He needs that. Look how happy that would make him. I know I said that we had enough toys, but that should be an exception. Clearly."

 But then I remembered. We have no room. We don't need it. He doesn't need it. This moment is a moment, and he can experience it whenever he is at someone's house that has this toy, and it will be special.

I want him to be grateful. I want him to be content. This goal is more important than that momentary, and I do mean momentary, happiness that will come from opening the "perfect" gift.

This point was reiterated to me on Facebook with a map showing the unique things for which people were thankful. People that had experienced drought were thankful for rain. People that had experienced power outages were thankful for electricity.

Here is the point.

Take a deep breath. Step away from the internet. Put down the credit card. And pray. Ask the Lord to show you how to cultivate gratefulness in your own heart and your children's hearts. If you can't afford those sought after toys of the season put down that mom-guilt right now. God has a plan and a purpose for this season of your life, and it is not for you to acquire debt or ignore other financial responsibilities (like saving for a rainy day) simply to chase the ghost of false joy. You can take confidence in the truth that if your children have less, you are likely closer to the ultimate goal of gratefulness. On the other hand however, if you can afford whatever your heart desires, pray even harder to keep from indulgence which is the enemy of a grateful heart.

This is not another post about Thanksgiving. It's not even necessarily about Christmas. It's bigger than that. Grasping gratefulness and cultivating contentment is a year round adventure. Living in the world we do, this is no humble task. Every commercial, every friend, every Facebook status tells you ....you need this!!! Fight it. Do not accept it. The only thing you need more of is Jesus. And he will supply all of your needs according to his riches in glory.

If you are a Christian, you have prayed for God's will to be fulfilled in your life. If you are a parent you have prayed for God's will to be fulfilled in your child's life. That is why this lesson is so important!

I Thessalonians 5:18 tells us in no uncertain terms what His will is!! Gratefulness!

Give thanks in everything, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

But how?

Read this powerful point in Job 20:20 in two versions:

For he knows no satisfaction in his appetite;
he does not let anything he desires escape.

“Because he knows no quietness in his heart,
He will not save anything he desires.

If you are not satisfied in Christ, you will grasp at everything!

The apostle Paul was able to be content in everything. Why? Because of his great prosperity? His easy life? No. Because he was satisfied in his appetite, in the quietness of his heart with Christ. That is how we produce gratefulness. When our hearts are filled day by day, moment by moment, with God's word, when our mouths and hearts are filled with praise, there we will find gratefulness. The best gift you can give your children and/or yourself is a thirst for Christ and His Word, at every age and stage. Amen!

Sweet November-From Bratitude to Gratitude! *

November 2000 I met a boy. Cute laugh. Piercing green eyes. Just so handsome. He made me laugh. He made me feel special. He made me hope. And he loved Jesus. Four months after meeting and already falling for him, he dropped a bomb. He had forgotten to mention that days before we met, he made a vow to the Lord that he would not date anyone for a year. Having just gotten out of a long and "unhealthy" relationship, (because this is what wives say about all prior relationships)  he was encouraged by a mentor to get His relationship with the Lord right, and take a year to do that. And he was just telling me now, four months into this friendship. So in March the countdown began- to November. I remember flipping through my CD collection (so archaic) when I found the soundtrack to a movie called Sweet November. On that CD was this song by Enya, and I thought of it today.

"Only Time"

Who can say where the road goes
Where the day flows, only time
And who can say if your love grows
As your heart chose, only time

It was so true. God knew, but only time would tell. It was the perfect song. I couldn't believe it. On a Sweet November CD of all things! Only time would tell. Well, long story short, and 5 kids later, November is still a very sweet month to me. If I close my eyes, I can still remember the day he told me it was me that he wanted. I can remember the feeling in my heart as I held his hand for the first time. I can remember so many sweet moments- moments that I dreamed of, all coming true.

But when I open my eyes, there is a full trash can, a crashing computer, an unfinished bathroom, and a toilet roll hung the wrong way. Their are obstacles, difficulties and failures. My heart forgets that I am living a dream. My heart forgets how I begged God for this man. We are imperfect people needing grace. Over and over again. Seventy times seven times.

I know I am not alone because I have heard your stories, the amazing God stories that need to be written down and published. My mother who saw a spray painted letter from God on the subway wall “Choose Bill.” My friend that pointed to a football players face on an FSU flyer and told her mom she was going to marry him and years later did just that. These beautiful stories that make the creations of Nicholas Sparks look woefully small, can so easily be forgotten amidst the monotony and difficulties of everyday life. And discontentment grows.

The eye never has enough. The ear can never hear enough. There is nothing new under the sun.

No matter how many dreams God fulfills, we always want more.

It is so popular to “vent” to let out your frustrations. But maybe instead of a venting partner you need a gratefulness partner. Never are we told to confess other peoples sins, only our own. Of course we need to share each others burdens, but when the majority of our conversation is a burden, we have a problem.

Be grateful. You cannot be grateful and discontent at the same time. You have to choose.

Colossians 3:15-17
And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Do you want peace? Be thankful. Do you want to be thankful? Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs! And whatever you do- do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus!! AMEN!!

November is a month that we all focus on gratitude. I pray that you would do more than make a list, but that you would close your eyes and remember. Remember the prayer that you prayed ,remember the dream in your heart that the Lord fulfilled and walk in gratitude. Remember the love that you felt and don't let the enemy steal that from you. Remember the person you dreamed of and how they are standing in your kitchen, perfectly imperfect. And be grateful. Remember the child you prayed for, acting like a sinful human, and be grateful. Remember the job you fought for and be grateful. Remember the parents that raised you, the siblings that played with you, the friends that loved you, and when they inevitably do something to annoy you, be grateful. In everything, give thanks!

* Title credits go to the one and only Jewel Keefe 

A Critical Critique of Criticism- I Samuel 31

So the craziest thing happened this week. I was being critical of my husband.

I wish I could say that was the unusual part, but sadly it was not. I'll get to the crazy part in a minute.

But first, confession time.

More often than not, my problem solving, black and white, over analyzing brain comes in handy. However, on the “not” side I struggle with being critical. The strange thing is I am more critical of my own self than I am of anyone else. God is freeing me, little by little.

Being critical is obviously wrong. Except when it's not so obvious. For instance, often times we may have good motives. Take my beloved, late, great-aunt. Truly, her motives were good. She legitimately wanted to help. But her methods could appear critical. Here's an example. Just today my mom and I were remembering how I finally got braces. My teeth weren't awful. They were mostly straight, but I had this one tooth that did not quite fit. One tooth. Of course that was enough for which the boys to tease me.

Sabe. Short for sabor, as in the tiger, with the teeth.

Nice nickname huh? I like to believe the teasing I received during those years taught me grace and compassion. But as a middle-schooler, it just really stunk. Anyway, my sweet, well intentioned aunt would ask me weekly if that tooth had settled in. After the 36^th time, during my senior year, I finally smiled and said, “I think this is as good as it gets. But if you would like to sponsor some braces, I will gladly make an appointment.”
“Make the appointment.”she declared without hesitation. “ I'll take care of it.” And that was it. I got braces.

Was she critical? Yes, but her motives were true, and she was willing to help.

So I guess I come by it honestly. Critiquing. It's human nature. Monday morning quarter backs. Blogs criticizing any and everything. Editorials. It's what we do. But it can kill any marriage, any relationship, or any church, and on the grand scale, make this bride of Christ look less than bridely.

And I was doing it.

Again.

“Lord,” I thought. “I don't want to do this anymore.”

Knowing my strength comes from God's word,  I decided
decided  to grab my Bible.

What are the chances that in I Samuel 31, my next chapter, God would have a lesson for me? I remembered reading about being an armor bearer  earlier this year and wondered, would that concept be revisited.

A little discouraged, but mostly determined, I picked up my Bible and read. Tears in my eyes, and an overwhelming feeling of being loved in my heart, I could not believe what I was reading. How, over and over, does this keep happening? God's word. My daily bread. Just what I need.
 This is what I read. This is the crazy part.

 The Philistines fought against Israel, and Israel’s men fled from them. Many were killed on Mount Gilboa. 2 The Philistines overtook Saul and his sons and killed his sons, Jonathan, Abinadab, and Malchishua. 3 When the battle intensified against Saul, the archers caught up with him and severely wounded him.[a] 4 Then Saul said to his ARMOUR_BEARER. “Draw your sword and run me through with it, or these uncircumcised men will come and run me through and torture me.” But his armor-bearer WOULD NOT DO IT ….

Saul had an armor-bearer. He was trained to do whatever Saul commanded. And in his moment of utter despair Saul asked his armor-bearer to take his life. But he couldn't. In this moment,when it came to choosing between following orders, or preserving his master's life, Saul's armor-bearer chose the latter.

He would not and could not take part in destroying the man to whom he had committed to serve.

Even if it made sense. Even if his motives would have been right.

And this is the power of God's Word. I started writing this a week ago and have been meditating on it ever since. If you only knew the number of times it has come to mind, how many times God reminded me of what I had read, and how many times these words stopped me in my tracks, well, it would be embarrassing.

But the point is not my weak nature, the point is the power of His Word to change.

It's easy to say, “Don't be critical.” But there is no power in my words. Thankfully, however, you don't have to depend on my words. You have better than that. You have God's word. And it does not return void.

The next time you are tempted to be critical of anyone, yourself included, take it to God first. What is the point of your criticism? To make yourself feel better? Going to God will solve that! Is it to “help” a person or situation? Going to God will solve that too!! Of course there is a time and a place to step into someones life and lovingly address an area that in so doing would bring them closer to God. But that never looks like harsh or angry criticism.

I want to be a true armor-bearer.

For my husband, my children, my friends and family. I pray that we would go to our knees when our reaction is critical. I pray that we would take our concerns, our burdens, our plans to Him first. And that we would go to God's word which is active and living and sharper than any two edged sword. Always. And watch the light of the Lord dispel the darkness of sin every time.

Burning Down the House.

Time after time, the Lord has used the words that I preach to my children, to pierce my own heart. Today it happened again, but this time, the urgency behind His message stopped me in my tracks.  And in that moment, I could hardly breath at the thought of how great His love is for me.

It's Monday. I knew that going into today. So I even took some steps to curb the Mondayness of the day, like extra cuddling, and an extra cup of tea.  However, there is no completely erasing the power of Monday. Consequently, as I rotated another laundry load I heard more fighting, more whining, more bickering coming from the kitchen. As my temper rose, I forged into their midst only to see them fighting and pushing and pulling IN FRONT OF A HOT STOVE. Dear Lord. That is it. What on earth could be that important?

After separating and assessing , I launched into the following lecture:

Do you have any idea how dangerous that was?

Do you know how bad a burn hurts?

You think that scratch hurt yesterday? That's nothing. A burn doesn't stop hurting. It burns and burns and burns.

What could be that important?

(And then the finale...)

It is amazing what you will sacrifice to get your own way!

Walking away after I doled out the consequences, I was still irritated, still frustrated, still discouraged. However, it doesn't take long for my mind to wander. With the idea of pain still thick in the air, my mind landed upon a different type of pain. My thoughts went to all the pain around me stemming from divorce. My heart breaks for the women that gave all they could. My soul mourns for the men that were betrayed and left broken. But mostly my mind turns to the children, some that are too young to understand. They only know that it hurts, some just old enough to blame themselves, but all forever impacted.

So what? What can be done? How does this change? It seems impossible. I pray, nearly every day for miracles in those homes already divided. I have seen God do the impossible. Over and over. So I don't give up hope. I regularly beg God for a miracle. Yet divorce after divorce is the modern day reality.  And while some are caused by dramatic one time events that destroy their union, most divorces? The cause? Irreconcilable differences. One difference after another. Little and big. Daily. Moment by moment. Differences. Little foxes that spoil the vine. The straw, a tiny straw that finally broke the camels back after hundreds of tiny, stupid, little straws. Then I think of my own marriage. Even with a man as wonderful as my own, we are different. So almost constantly we see things differently. And yes, way too often, I want my own way. For what?

And in my spirit I hear the Lord say:

Do you know how dangerous that is?

Do you have any idea how bad divorce hurts?
Do you think not getting your way is painful? That is nothing. Divorce doesn't stop hurting. It hurts and hurts and hurts.

What could be that important?

And then, the final blow...

It is amazing what you will sacrifice to get your own way.

Divorce starts at every disagreement. Ever selfish insistence. Every disrespectful comment. Every unloving gesture. All those little tiny seemingly insignificant straws. Until, it breaks the marriage in two.

DISCLAIMER: I am not talking about Abuse, Addiction, or Adultery. Those are not little straws by any means. But I am talking about the little things I hear ladies complain about. Personality differences, temperament differences, perspective differences.

So my challenge to myself and everyone is this. Stop. Stop being offended. Remember why you chose your spouse. Choose to love. Choose to respect. Let go of control. Give it to God. Every moment. Every decision. Speak in love. Treat kindly. And remember what you are risking, when you insist on getting your own way. 

 "Be completely humble and gentle; Be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace."- Ephesians 4:2-3

Since you asked.......

Everywhere we go we are asked the same questions about our large family. So one year as a Christmas letter I decided to answer the top ten. Ya know, like "Are they all yours?".... "Are you Catholic?"....  "What kind of car do you drive?" But the number one question we get asked hands down is "How do you do it?"

The answer to that for us is simple. God.  However, when I expressed that answer to a woman at the library the other day, she didn't stop there like most. She went further. "How exactly does God come into play?" she asked maybe a little, doubtful, but genuine.
"Well," I answered,  "He gives us peace when it's crazy, patience, when we have had enough, and wisdom, when we don't know what to do." She seemed slightly, like, "ok, maybe." and started to walk away, but not before I slipped her a little folded up piece of paper.

When I was little, my mom used to hand out Bible tracts. She gave them to waitresses and bag boys with a nice tip. She gave them to the cashier to read on her break. Just about anyone, was someone, with whom my mom wanted to share Jesus. You see,  my mom was that person once. She was seeking. And one day, a woman, who also wanted to share Jesus, picked my mom's name out of the phone book and offered her a free hair cut. My mom has never been one to turn down a free anything so she went, and got her free hair cut. but also got freedom from sin. My mom was seeking. And just like that, because someone else was willing to share, she found Peace.

A few months after Christmas I got the idea to turn our Christmas letter into a tract. I was so excited. I ran it by my editor, (Paul) and my campus pastor and got the thumbs up. Now, when people ask us these questions, instead of worrying about the negative way they sometimes refer to my blessings, it has become fun way for us to turn the tables. Instead of bracing for the questions, or the stares, or even just the curious onlooker, we are now looking for them!! Who will ask one of the questions! We fold them up like a little card and on the front it says "Since you asked....."

The reason this is so exciting for me is that if you hand someone a regular tract, they might read it, but they might not. However, in our case, if these people are already curious enough to ask a stranger in the middle of the grocery store questions about her personal life, then they are going to be curious enough (read nosy) to read the whole darn thing! Right down to all the good stuff about Jesus!

So why am I sharing this with you? Well, despite the dangerously declining birthrate in America (topic for another blog!) I have SO MANY FRIENDS with big (3 or more kids ) families. Truly, if you have 3 kids, you have been asked most of these questions! And a lot of these same friends also love sharing about Jesus. So I wanted to make this available to you, big family people out there, so that you could adapt it, make it your own, and also start sharing with people the truth of how we do it!! Since they asked! Seriously, think about how many times a week you get asked these question and all those opportunities to share the gospel? Let's do it!  (A google document is at the bottom. Email me if it doesn't work or if you have a more efficient way of sharing. I am no techie, that is for sure!)

p.s. There are so many ways to adapt this. Even as Christians we can get tired of answering the same questions about  a certain part of our lives.  Consider how you can instead use that to share what makes you who you are in Christ, even if it is not in writing like this.

1 Peter 3:15

¹⁵ But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear; 

****For best results click  on the link below, then click on File > Download As > Word doc, or whatever format you choose.****

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Pt5FelSu7nwaGGtM_2g7Hvw7oLA_q7B5jFOxN5kXP2o/edit?usp=sharing

Finding true value at Publix

We finished checking out at Publix the other day, me and my traveling party, and an older man decided to give me all his best one liners, and I have heard them all. First he did the standard count with the face of disbelief...."One, two, THREE, FOUR, FIVE???" Then the predictable "ARE THEY ALL YOURS?" with the bewildered head shake. But he ended with a snide sounding (to me) "Well, that must be expensive." And for some reason that one bothered me. Not a lot of comments bother me. I know that most people are just curious, and have to say *something*. We are an anomaly, and I get it. I welcome it. I am proud of my family and grateful beyond words. But this one got under my skin. Maybe I was just tired, no, actually I am always tired. Maybe it's hormonal. But maybe... just maybe it was because I know what they are worth. I mean, for Pete's sake, did he say that to the woman in front of him, with $50,000 of plastic surgery? Or the woman behind him, with a bazillion dollar purse?? So immediately there I was, walking out the door, annoyed at myself for not thinking quicker on my feet with a smart response. So I pushed that basket, covered in children, out to the parking lot, trying to think of "comebacks" for the next time...I hate being unprepared ;) I came up with this one......."It is expensive, but we are really rich, so its fine" (fyi, this is untrue, as if you needed that disclaimer) But no, I hate to be that way. If I really am blessed beyond measure, then I am the one that should be extending grace to those that are frankly just clueless. And that's when it happened..I got it!! I had the perfect retort, which pretty much insured no one would ever say it to me again! But ….as God would have it, just after I had the last child seat-belted into our vehicle, who should be strolling by us in the parking lot, but that man!!! So I sweetly got his attention and smiling from ear to ear I said "They are not 'expensive', they are *valuable* and not only that, but they produce a much greater return then what most people invest in." Tadaaaa!!! Nice huh?? But yeah, this guy totally wasn't even listening to me, ha! I think he was still counting! He looked right passed me and my sage-like comment, into the car. “They are SO CUTE!” he said and we struck up a friendly conversation. I have to admit, I was a little disappointed that my brilliant one liner, I was so proud of, pretty much hit the pavement flat. And it wasn't till today that I realized that the reminder..... of their worth....and how important our investment is....that reminder was for me.

8For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. 9Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. 10So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith. Galatians 6:8-10

Are you ready for a fight?

  So much sadness in this world is brought on simply because we are not fighting.

I heard this verse at a Bible study the other night and I wanted to jump up and scream YES!!! AMEN!!! PREACH IT!!  but it wasn't that type of study. I might have been hauled out of the room. Here is the verse:

Nehemiah 4:14

After I looked things over, I stood up and said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, "DON'T be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is GREAT and AWESOME and FIGHT for your FAMILIES, your SONS and your DAUGHTERS, your WIVES and your HOMES."

Think for a second about the things for which we fight. 

We fight through hoards of people on Black Friday for a deal. 

We fight through lines at Disney World to put temporary smiles on our children's faces. 

We fight through a work day to earn money to get stuff. 

We fight with customer service people because our computer/phone/car needs to be fixed now. 

We fight with loved ones to get our way. 

We fight.

But sometimes, we forget what it is for which we should really be fighting until it is too late and we have lost everything that matters most without even realizing we were at war.

DISCLAIMER:

Some things make me feel old, like....well...people younger than me. But the reality is I am young. Very young. And my children are still little. So one might think it is easy for me to say the things I am going to say while I don't yet have a teenager under my roof or a wayward son whom I raised to make better choices than he is making. Please know that I know this. But.... God's word is true, no matter the age of the person proclaiming it. I mean, Jeremiah, was like 20. And we Christians sure love us some Jeremiah 29:11!

So here goes.

 It seems to me that very few people are fighting for their families anymore. And from what I have seen,there is one major, glaring reason why.....

They don't know they are supposed to be fighting!

Naive newlyweds promise things that simply won't happen spontaneously.

Misguided parents expect unspeakable joy without hair pulling hard times.

And even adult children (hand raised) expect parental approval with no judgement.

But none of these things are going to just..... happen. None.

A good marriage is hard work, and quite often one person works harder than the other.

Raising children is not for the faint at heart. Those kids are miniature copies of us, for better or worse, and often magnify the very things about ourselves with which we struggle.

So what is the solution? Well, this is not a self help book, but I do have 2 suggestions.

1. Don't expect easy. Expectations can be our biggest enemy.

2. FIGHT!!! Starting now. The battle rages daily. Seen and unseen. If you wait for an apparent attack to start fighting, you have an uphill battle on your hands.

Ok, fine, I'll fight, you concede,  But how?

While there are many great books on their on raising a godly family. The most important step is also the most ignored and underrated.

Prayer.

Example: My mother.

Some of you know her, and just nodded your head and thought, "yup. enough said." But for those that don't have the pleasure of her acquaintance, allow me to explain.

I hated going to bed as a child, and yes, I still do.

Nearly every night, at the regular time I would stumble out of my room, look down into the living room and see my mother, in her lavender robe ( satin in the summer, fleece in the winter) knitting and praying. This is what she does. Pray and knit. She has given out more "prayer blankets" to new babies than I could begin to count.

If they updated the Bible with pictures, hers would be next to James 5:18, "The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man (woman) availeth much"

That woman has moved mountains. I have stories. I have seen it with my own eyes. She has always known there was a war raging. Always.

Pray with your husband, or trusted friends, or family. Pray by yourself. Just pray.

The full battle plan is found in Ephesians 6. Read it. I know, you have read it before, read it again. Print it out. Stick it on your fridge. Memorize it. Live it!! Remember the Lord, who is GREAT and AWESOME and FIGHT for your FAMILIES!



¹⁰Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. ¹¹Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. ¹²For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age,against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. ¹³Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
¹⁴Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, ¹⁵and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; ¹⁶above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. ¹⁷And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; ¹⁸praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints—

No offense but......

Love takes no offense.......

Wow, isn't that the opposite of what actually happens? Love and offense seem to go hand and hand.  I mean no one can offend me like the people that I love the most. . Any passing comment has a history behind it.  Any small gesture can feel like a pointed criticism. Any thoughtless act seems like a premeditated act of terror. Sad but true. 

Love takes no offense.

Yet offenses happen all the time.  What is our reaction if someone were to bad mouth a loved one,  spouse, or family member? The gloves would come off and we would fight to defend them....but.... Those same gloves can be used to hurt the person we would fight to the death defending. Why?

The devil is like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

My friend's mom is a renown photographer and recently told me of her trip to Africa. They were hidden from sight when all of a sudden there was absolutely no movement across the plain. No sounds. Nothing. And she knew a lion was in their midst. No sooner had she uttered that thought then a lion burst onto the scene chasing a herd of zebras. Those poor zebras, she lamented. They can never let their guard down.  No, I thought, those smart zebras. Smarter than the average...Christian. 

Yes, we have a very real adversary, with very old tricks. Yet they are so effective because unlike those zebras, we forget. We relax. We let our guard down and think life is just happening to us.  

This past week Paul and I got into one of the biggest.....ahem...disagreements in years, and the frustration in the room was palpable. Over what? What could cause such marital discord? Dishes. Of course. And 11 years of "life" piggybacking onto one offhanded comment. Why this week? I wondered. And then I saw an email that Paul was scheduled to teach a class on Biblical servant hood. Oh yeah, and we had a meeting on Friday to pray with other couples in preparing for the upcoming marriage retreat with our church. Of course. I have heard teacher after teacher in sermons confirm that whatever they are about to teach on is almost guaranteed to be tested. Yet where was my readiness? I took offense. Instead of going on the offense spiritually against the real enemy. (read: not my husband)

Why does the devil want to divide us? Maybe it has something to do with Jesus prayer in John 17

20 “I do not pray for these alone, but also for those who will believe in Me through their word; 21 that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me.

This is so powerful.....Our unity proclaims Christ's Deity....

The devil is always out to prove God's word is invalid and outdated. We need to remember that. Daily. And cling even more to His Word. Read it. Meditate on it. Talk about it.  There is no greater strategy.

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.

Love takes no offense

Psalm 23- Sung by Dianna Renee by Lauren Chastain 1

Psalm 23- Sung by Dianna Renee by Lauren Chastain 1

November 2012-Washing dishes for Jesus
Colossians 3:17
And whatever you do in word or in deed, do it all in the name of The Lord Jesus giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
I am used to the pressure from the world. I am actually quite immune to most of it. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am right where I am supposed to be. I feel no guilt when I pass the school where I used to teach. I left there one day 10 years ago, my water broke that night, and I have never looked back! Although difficult, I know that God has called me to this 24 job and the blessings I receive daily could never be counted.
Church pressure, however, is a different matter. There are so many verses that can be pointed at me to make me feel guilty. So many needs in the world and in the body of Christ that need to be filled. And who will do them if not me?
This past few months I have been made increasingly aware of my inability to meet these needs. With five children ages 10,8,6,4,2 we have been battling a cold, or a stomach funk, or a nasty cough the last 3 months without much relenting. I have had 5 close friends give birth without be being able to bless them with a meal. I haven't served in the nursery once during this forced sabbatical. And of course there are the women's Bible studies to which I haven't been able to attend or bring food. Add to that a slower season of work for my husband and when those group emails go out asking for another donation for another friend in need and the guilt is suffocating.
I am just just trying to catch my breath all the while feeling guilty for breathing. One second I feel relief to be chipping away at Mount Laundrymore, and cleaning those breakfast dishes, but not for long. Within seconds I am reminded how I never made those meals for my friends and now there is another dear friend who could use a meal.
So I breathe. And try to remember my Lord. My savior. What was his ministry? Discipling. How many did he have? 12. Emmanuel had 12, and has entrusted me with 5. That is a pretty tall order in my book. Everywhere I turn someone is telling me things like "Jesus left the 99 to reach the one" or how about the story of the man throwing starfish back in the sea? " it matters to that one" he famously quotes. Yet at the same time we are so focused on quantity. How many are in your church? How many in your Bible study? How many Souls have you won? Meals have you cooked? Flyers have you passed out? Studies are you teaching? Work days attended? Aaaaaaaahhhhh!
Isaiah 40:11 says that the shepherd gathers his sheep into His bosom. Sigh. That sounds nice. But it gets better. It goes on to say that "he gently leads those that have young." That's me. I have young. And if he is gentle with me, than who am I to be so hard on myself. I am making disciples, I am feeding the hungry, I am caring for the wounded and broken-hearted, times 5, a.round.the.clock. And I am doing it in the name of The Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
Don't get me wrong, part of my discipleship program includes visiting the elderly in nursing homes, bringing the love of Jesus through cookies and smiles to our neighbors, loading up the disciples in the van to bring a meal to a family in need, or just showing them how to tell someone about Jesus in the grocery line. But when my discipleship program takes an unexpected turn, I will rest in the one that controls my path. I will rejoice in the mundane, and be content pouring love into my five. Guilt free!

August 2012--Cleft Team Time Machine

Its that time of year again for the Chastain family. No, I am not talking about summertime beach trips or vacation get away. But as summer starts slipping away, and school starts to look not so far away, Dianna and I take our own special trip to the Joe DiMaggio Cleft and Craniofacial team in Hollywood, Fl. Unfortunately, Daddy had to work, so its just me and my big girl. For those of you that don't know, Dianna was born with a cleft palate. Now, before you say those silly words I have heard a hundred times "wow, I couldn't even tell" think carefully where the palate is :). Only Dianna's palate was affected, not her lip. So it isn't a visible thing.  But I digress. It is something we hardly think about. Except once a year for a check up of sorts. And suddenly, as we walk through the hallway from specialist, to surgeon to doctor, I am transported through time.
As my 7 year old big girl sits down for the speech therapist I can see her shrinking right before my eyes into a precocious little two year old. "Say ' PEO-PLE' " the therapist asked while pinching Dianna's little nose. My toddler stared at her silently. "Say ' PEO-PLE' " the therapist requested again to no avail. "P" sounds can be hard for kids with a cleft palate, so that is the reason for the request, but Dianna was in no mood for this test. So after a few more tries we gave up for a bathroom break and in the solitude of the bathroom, that sweet little girl pinched her own nose, looked at me with those big brown eyes and blurted out "PEO-PLE" with a little grin. Now that she is bigger, their are more words to say, and she is more willing to say them, albeit not perfectly. There is a bit of nasal air emission possibly requiring speech therapy, hopefully not more surgery, to strengthen those stitched together muscles on her palate that you and I take for granted.
Next we meet with the 69 year old pediatrician from Trinidad. This is my favorite stop. He was a young 62 when we first met and now he is training his replacement. We talk retirement, health care reform, and homeschooling, and he beams about how great Dianna is doing. But suddenly when he mentions his hospital visits I am no longer in his office. I am passing him in the hallway at the hospital right after Dianna's first surgery, with a tear stained face and a pit in my stomach wondering how I was going to care for a 6 month old in recovery and a toddler at home. And just like that I was drawn back to his office hugging him goodbye and wishing him a happy and family filled retirement as he makes plans for more volunteer work with cleft teams oversees.
During this busy morning there is a lot of waiting between doctors. While in the waiting room, I overhear the coordinator extraordinaire and beautiful grandmother of seven Bobby Brasher talking with a new mom about some of the realities for her six week old baby who had the same exact condition as Dianna. "the doctor said the surgery is minor, maybe about 15 minutes, " the young mom said to Bobby, and with that I was back in the hospital , but this time I was in the recovery room. The surgery was quick, that was true, but nothing could have prepared me for the recovery. They led us to her bed, her little body, tubes still attached for pain medicine, face puffy, traces of iodine and blood still around her mouth whimpering like an injured kitten. "Can I hold her?" I begged, sure that once she was in my arms those heart breaking moans coming out of her mouth would stop. But they didn't. My sweet husband looked on with tear filled eyes and prayed. I rocked her and sang, but nothing would ease her sad and painful little cry until the nurse administered more morphine upon my request. "I used to have a special bottle too" said my big girl to the new mom, and just like that I was rescued from my memory.
"Just our annual check up," I told a friend this morning, but didn't I know better? Every year, every different doctor, every test can take me to a hundred different places in time. But there is one thing in common with every moment in time to which I travel. When I remember pain, I remember our Comforter. When I remember exhaustion, I remember our Helper. When I remember loss, I remember our Provider. On Dianna's first birthday I wrote a song that has proved more true as the days go by.

All of these things,all I will treasure.
Deep in my heart, they last forever,
Through all the joy and pain.
I won't forget one day.

There is One who knows what the future holds
And He's got our world in His hands
He loves you even more than I do
And its in His strength I stand
(Below is a link to the song and video)

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zy1OZwTcUv0

This is not my first post.

Ok, technically this is my first blog post. But I have been blogging to a few friends and my husband for some time now. You see, I have a lot of passions. I have a lot of opinions. But I do not like confrontation. Most don't. I am most. And whenever I find myself in the middle of one of those situations, my stomach turns non stop until its over. Fully over.

I never liked roller coasters. I can't even go on a swing without my stomach doing a little dance. (I know, that is so embarrassing.) My first roller coaster and every one after that I just get so nervous on the way up those stupidly slow ascents to the big drop. I promise myself I will not go on anymore. Why do I do this to myself? It's so awful. This is the last time. Some people love roller coasters. They scream all the way down. I envy those people. I couldn't scream. Ever. I don't know the science behind it. All I know is that no noise comes out of my mouth. None. But for the sake of camaraderie, or some other noble cause, I keep doing it. And I could really do without it.

Did you know Newton felt the same way? Not about roller coasters, but about confrontation. You see every time he put out a new postulate or came up with a corollary, someone challenged him. And it got personal. And he hated it. He summed it up like this "....for I see a man must either resolve to put out nothing new, or to become a slave to defend it."  He finally vowed never to publish anything on science again, and it is said that this detrimentally slowed down progress in England for almost a hundred years!

 Ok, let's be clear. I know that I am not Newton, and my decision to blog or not to blog will not alter the course of an entire country. But I can point to so many times in my life when my path was altered by a new perspective someone was bold enough to share with me. And I am grateful, eternally grateful to those that stood at the crossroad of uncomfortable and easy and decided to speak truth into my life. I can also think of decisions I made when people that knew better stood next to me said nothing. So I am going to say something. I pray with all that is in me that I will not say anything that would not line up with the Word of God or with who He has called me to be as His disciple, a wife, mommy, daughter, and sister and friend. That is my only prayer.

Warning. I will make grammatical errors.